On Bandhgala

 

So it transpires that the first article of 2024 is a piece on a sartorial phenomenon - the Sarkari Bandhgala.

Like every Republic Day since that of 2013, today was an occasion to take these cover-all pieces of black beauty, dust the lint off, and wear it all, with a crossed flag pin. Republic Day is the most suited (pun intended) occasion for wearing it. With the cold weather (which seems all the more freezing this time), the bandhgala embraces one with maternal warmth. On Independence Days, that is replaced by paternal discipline! On those days the pride of donning this attire just barely overcomes the infernal heat inside, in the middle of humid August.

Its official name is Jodhpuri Suit. It is a ceremonial dress prescribed in the Government (I would say, 'by' the government, but then, i don't have the notification for that!) Like almost all things symbolic about this Republic, even the ceremonial dress was born out of the deliberations of our Founding Fathers. While many other, more 'ethnic' dresses were proposed, finally, due to sheer practicality, the Jodhpuri suit won. There was a final twist though. (There was a magazine article about this sometime back, but since Google is failing me now, you must take it as an apocryphal story from someone who reads and remembers such trivia.) Like many decisions taken then (viz. State attendance at Somnath Temple Consecration, the de-facto extent of Presidential powers etc), the form of the ceremonial dress also saw a sparring between the first President of the Republic and the Prime Minister. While both of them agreed on the Jodhpuri suit, the President wanted it to be worn with a blue sash! I, for one, am quite grateful that the PM prevailed, for a sash would have appeared quite ridiculous, especially without the various medallions of various Orders that adorned the sashes of the Viceregal (and other Civil Servant's) dresses.

The founding fathers did not resolve the issue of a ceremonial headgear though. Normally the issue does not arise. However, in our country, national occasions are times to crucify those in public life over perceived, or worse, liberally construed, insult to national symbols! In fact, a well bribed subordinate can lead to quite spectacular pickles. Once, in Meerut, I had spotted that the (yet to be unfurled) flag was tied green side up. I refused to pull the halyard, without the mistake being rectified, and hence our flag was unfurled quite delayed. Still, the next day, the local papers carried the premeditated headlines about the flag flying upside down atop Meerut Tehsil! Mercifully I had not given them the photograph to go along with it. Thus, our national occasions are very much ruled the protocol-nazis, and some of them have decreed that the person hoisting a flag should cover his head. It stems from the common protocol of uniforms, where one may not render a salute with the head uncovered, and the flag, when hoisted, must be saluted. While the flag code specifically decrees - "3.31 During the ceremony of hoisting or lowering the Flag or when the Flag is passing in a parade or in a review, all persons present should face the Flag and stand at attention. Those present in uniform should render the appropriate salute. When the Flag is in a moving column, persons present will stand at attention or salute as the Flag passes them. A dignitary may take the salute without a head dress", no one has the patience to explain that to the protocol-nazis. Hence, the dignitaries cover their heads while hoisting the national flag. Usually it comes in the form of the white side-cap, colloquially known as the Gandhi cap. Personally, I find it more unsightly than Dr. Rajendra Prasad's blue sash! One tries to improvise with the woollen (VP Singh?) cap etc. Recently, on the cue of the PM, we have started sporting the bright saafaas, which, honestly, look much in place, being closer to the pagadis which are traditionally worn with jodhpuri dresses. I do hope this trend crystallizes.

Growing up, aspiring to join the Civil Services was not as glamorous, as it is now, in the wake of movies and serials like 12th Fail, or Aspirants. I remember, in our MBA class of around 60, we three civil service aspirants were kind of outcasts, and subject of professorial ridicule. Even then, the Orkut pictures of successful candidates (who had taken the personality and medical tests with me, but had left me behind in the final selection!), in black bandhgalas, fascinated me. This dress was an aspirational dream. Later, as probationers of Railway Engineering Services (where we, as a rule, take pride in not being formal at all) at Railway Staff College, Vadodara, we avoided even wearing a tie, and used to call the probationers of the Railway Civil Services 'Darbaan' (waiters) when they donned their bandhgalas in the warm Vadodara Republic Day morning! That shoe was on the other foot about two years later. We, as IAS probationers, were on our Parliamentary visit to New Delhi. In our Bandhgalas, we had met, and got ourselves photographed with the President (Dr. Pranab Mukherjee), the Prime Minister (Dr. Manmohan Singh), the Vice President (Dr. Hamid Ansari) and the Speaker. Obviously, our heads were quite swollen as we sauntered around the atrium of Hotel Samrat - us Men in Black. Out of the blue, one lady asked one of us to help take her luggage to the room. She had obviously confused him with the hotel staff! While the guy was quick on the uptake and located an actual bellboy quite quickly, he remained the butt of our jokes for long. 

Well, contrary to the perception, the bandhgala is not a uniform for the Civil services, or for the IAS in particular. It is a ceremonial dress of the government. Probationers, even of the uniformed services, wear it in the ceremonial occasions during training, and uniformed officers wear them when receiving some non service specific medals and honours. Political and diplomatic dignitaries also wear it. Somehow, the perception about the Bandhgala being the uniform of the administration is quite rampant, especially in the judiciary. It is hard to explain to the Courts that appearance before them is not a ceremonial occasion, and barring winter seasons, it is not humanly possible to keep the bandhgala on for the duration of such appearances. Recently, it had led to a situation where Courts were objecting so much to officers appearing in working dress (and some people made a business of making schadenfreude themed instagram reels about it) that the Hon. Supreme Court had to intervene and lay down the law that judges need not comment on the apparel of officers appearing before them! 

For all our love-hate relationship with it, the bandhgala still serves as a reminder. A reminder of awesome duty we volunteered for, and of our good fortune and the privilege that has been bestowed on us for that purpose, by the system of this country; bestowed on us with the belief that we retain the idealism we had when we aspired for it, and when we donned it for the first time. As I reminded my colleagues on this Republic Day, it is quite easy to get lost in the mundane part of the job - reports to be given, review meetings to be endured, boss's (and super-boss's) yelling to be endured, and PowerPoint to be presented. Yet, such National Holidays give us time to get in touch with the larger picture; the grand scheme of things. The day we, in our bandhgalas, took the oath of the Constitution, and the pledge to serve. To serve, not by being literally servile, but by ensuring that our net effort goes towards ameliorating the situation of us all - the people of India, who enacted, adopted and gave to ourselves this Constitution. 

Movie Review - Animal

This movie is basically "The Godfather", if Sunny Corleone had succeeded Don Vito instead of Michael. More apt, if a love child of Sunny Corleone and Tara Singh had succeeded to, not only the Corleone syndicate, but also, say, the Russian Empire. At the heart of it, though, it remains a tribute to The Godfather, on steroids.

Neither is this a mere inspiration from The Godfather. There are some straight plot devices, like the inveterate traitor brother in law, who had to be put down, and the inconsolable sister, his widow. Then there is that second love interest that (almost) blows up by a car bomb. Yeah, the soft strains of Speak Softly Love were replaced by the folksy music of Punjab.

Many reviewers had flagged the misogyny. I guess, for the squeamish, the gratuitous violence would be much more noticeable and / or objectionable.Many had called it boring despite all that. Here is my take on it - none of the over 200 minutes of the movie is dull. Not a single dull moment. Yeah, it might be long - fight sequences following more fight sequences -  there was one long and needless scene where minions in Squid Game Honcho masks attacked the lead, and then again a whole sequence of minions attacking him in skull masks. Even the climactic fight was too stretched out - neither Sunny nor Michael Corleone would approve of a fistfight when you have an overwhelming advantage in firepower.

Coming back to the question of misogyny, it is all a narrative made by the woke media. For the whole spousal relationship between the lead and his wife is one of equals, in a twisty, kinky way. The wife has more agency than many of characters written in a similar scenario - the cocooned wife of a dreaded don. It is unfair to compare her to a character of a female entrepreneur or professional. There is of-course one big episode of infidelity which is explained away as a reverse honey-trap! The movie does delve deep into the whole alpha of the herd concept, and defines life in the terms of the primal needs, but then again, the movie is called 'Animal', and it is a given that the laws of the jungle would apply. It surely was Woke-kryptonite, and that is the reason behind all the lamentation which is on. However, as a long suffering recipient of 'colour-blind casting' and gratuitous homosexuality in contemporary cinema, I would say - Take That!!

Movie Review - The Archies

Initially, there was a feeling that one might be getting into another of those "high class bratty rich teen orgy" dramas one finds a surfeit of on the streaming portals. However, it soon revealed itself to be the rather fresh offering it is. So while the teens were there, they weren't all high class (at least on-screen!), and while there was plenty of dating, there was no (on-screen) mating. No drugs, no booze, no gaalis. It was hard to believe it was Netflix! 

Then, yeah, just to remind us that it indeed was Netflix, we had an extended sequence, preceded by other brief sequences, to show that Dilton, whom Archies' readers would recall only as the affable class genius, is gay. Mercifully, the other guy does not respond, and we are spared the mauling up of one of our childhood memories. (Well, when I was actually reading those comics, neither was being gay so much a badge of honour and distinction, nor was it something which publications aimed at children could reveal - unlike poor Dumbledore!)

This movie would generally be liked by the Indian readers of Archies. All the characters, and their characteristics, have been transported to Ooty, standing in for Riverdale. A simple device, of making this a town populated by Anglo Indians alone, and keeping the timeline of an era when Anglo Indians actually were a distinct community, ensured that people with brown faces could have the white names. Maybe it also allowed the cast to converse in their high class Hindi accent without it feeling unnatural!

It felt like those High School Musicals from an era bygone. Quite literally. There are high school kids, and they are singing constantly! Indian movies have always contained songs. However, this is modelled purely on the Hollywood musicals - where the narrative carries on seamlessly from dialogues to songs.

The story is kept quite simple. Big bad money guys, conniving with the politicians and public servants, browbeating the conscientious journalists, to hurt the (gasp!) 'Green' Park. Till the teenagers decide on their dating problems and come together to foil those evil plans. However, it is commendable that despite a simplistic plot, the characters are not strictly black and white unidimensional caricatures, but believable beings. My mother had watched the movie before me, and she had predicted I would like it. It's been 38 years since I have been born - and her sense of my likes and dislikes has got quite worn out over time! In this case though, she was spot on. It was largely an enjoyable movie, as long as the lengthy songs and dances were skipped. Maybe part of it was nostalgic. We had glimpses of Hardy Boys, and Ruskin Bond, and the whole movie was a reference to the Archies' comics. Then, there were some quite healthy character dynamics - in the world of "Animal" (which despite all the forewarning we would watch tomorrow, because of plain FOMO), we have that scene where Betty and Veronica decide that their friendship is more important that the unsure affections of a confused teenager. A big part of it was a yearning for simpler things - like after perforce courses of greasy spicy "delicacies" that overload your senses, you just delight in plain dal-chawal.

Of course, no commentary about this movie would be complete without a few words about the star-babies. First of all, it is not really nepotism, when you have to face the crowd as the ultimate judge. Parents in any free market profession, when successful enough, give their offsprings a better start than those not successful enough. Note the words "free market". The offsprings face this same free market, which decides whether they would ultimately fail or sail.  Just as one cannot blame a successful businessman handing down a running business to his son, or a fresh minted lawyer joining her uncle's firm, or a new doctor turning up at the family hospital, we cannot really judge a kid of a movie artist using his or her family ties to get a break. For that matter, even politicians cannot be blamed for promoting their children - after all, these kids also have to face the public vote only. There is a very stark example of nepotism in our public life, where important public positions are cornered without a selection on merit, and without election, almost solely on the basis of who knows whom. Yet, we cannot say it aloud - You Know Who!

That said, almost all the teenage looking actors did well. I must say that Mr. Nanda is the best looking Bachchan till now! Expressive too. He should do well. The other standout for me was Betty Cooper, whose toothy smile reminded me so very much of Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada! 

Post Script - On Cricket

 

Yesterday was the International Men's Day (or so did my facebook feed tell me!) Many, especially women, had posted how the unfairer sex (!) needs to show more emotions - that boys may cry. By the evening of the day, their prescription was duly carried out, and how! As the Men in Blue wept on screen, the most populous nation (men included) joined them.

To be fair, they lucked out to a large extent. The way Virat Kohli played on was just tragic, especially when contrasted with similar thick inside edges by Australian batsmen in the initial overs. The ball did swing in those initial overs, and looked quite unplayable. The next caught behind (the most common mode of dismissal in the Indian innings), or even cleaned bowled dismissal looked just right around the corner, but never materialized! Then of course, there was that "Umpire's Call". As a side note, it is the most idiotic part of the whole cricketing system currently. The premise - the ball hitting the stumps partially - is quite weak. Had the ball actually hit the stumps partially, would it have been given out or not? Then again, even if there is a chance of error (which, with the current level of computing technology I would highly doubt), the assumption, that a human eye, with a single split second live view at full speed, would have made a better call of ball's future trajectory, is hilarious. Anyway, those rules were extant for everyone, so it can only called a luck out.

However, I feel the skipper would share a substantial burden of him not having retired with a World Cup - not because he played bad, but because he did not play as good as he could. While much has been said about the much vaunted Indian batting line up, there were just two really big-match players. One of them tried to anchor the innings together. He had almost managed it, but had an unlucky delivery played on to the stumps. The other gave the team a flying start, but then gifted his wicket as cheaply as he has done this whole tournament, except for the England match. Many would say, that is his style of play. That was his role. Well, roles change, and style is adapted, according to the occasion. We need not look further than our nemesis, Travis Head. Going into the final, Head had a higher tournament strike rate than our Hitman. However, when the Aussies were three down, he adapted his style of play for condolidation. At one occasion, he had an innings strike rate close to 50. He ended his innings with a century, a 100 plus strike rate, and, not the least, the World Cup! His initial batting was unnaturally slow, because that is what is expected in big matches, to change gears when needed. Once past his 50, his sixes came as easy as swatting a fly! Suddenly, the ground did not seem as large as the Hindi Commentary team had made it seem for the better part of the Indian innings. 

On a similar note, one must speak about what many had been describing as a 'selfish' style of play being done by Virat Kohli. Only a mind overfed on T20 can come up with that concept. One Day Cricket still retains some aspects of Test Cricket - defending, consolidating, and playing the overs. In T20, statistically each wicket needs to last 2 overs only, and if only the top and middle order is taken, still no more than 4 or 5 overs are expected. ODI needs long innings, to ensure the full 50 overs are played out, and a substantial total is put on the board. Maybe Virat (or Sachin, back then) did go less than run a ball while playing long innings. Maybe that lost the team some 10 - 15 runs in the matches. However, that did not matter as much as the 60-70 runs that were "lost" due to the "selfless", yet much careless play by the Skipper. Unless he finds some miraculous way of staying on till 2027, that useless stroke would haunt him to the end of the days. 

However, to be fair, he may have been relying on the impressive batting performance of his team mates in the matches prior. To be fair to his team mates, almost none of them, except maybe Rahul's 97 against Australia, were in a pressure situation, and even that was not a do or die match like this. As I must reiterate, sheer bad luck played a great part in the debacle. How one wished that Felix Felicis was real, and someone had given Team India a swig of it. Even a fake dose, the way Harry Potter gave it to Ron Weasley, would have done something by raising their confidence level! For this is a cricketing phenomenon which has come back from the brink - when Klusener had all but ended their campaign in 1999, they found it in themselves to run out two tailenders to reach the final they won. In 2003, New Zealand discovered the sting in the tail. More recently, Afghanistan had their heart broken after having them on the mat at 97 for 7. Team India was not even near those levels, as the 4 boundaries hit in the 40 overs testify!

Surely, more cricketing action is to follow. T20 series against the Aussies. Maybe in those matches Surya Kumar's bizarre batting action of backward slapping would fetch him good runs. However, even a whitewash there would hardly wash out the taste of this defeat. 

To end on a lighter note, may be we need an MRTPC / Competition Commission in Cricket too. Since 1975, 13 ODI World Cups have taken place. 6 of them have been won by Australia, which is nearly half! May be the Australian National Team can be replaced by their Provincial / Territorial teams! It is not quite far-fetched an idea. When assorted Caribbean nations could play under a single banner, the West Indies, then the coincidence with a nation-state is not a strict requirement for an ICC event team. That might make it more possible for other teams to also try to win the World Cup! Although, there is a fair chance that any of these little Australias might also end up winning the Cup - remember that Ricky Ponting belongs to tiny Tasmania!

On Cricket

This is a long article, about growing up with Cricket. It is interspersed with Video Links to Cricketing Moments. Savour those moments! 

Let's begin with something that needs to be said. There have been many football anthems - but none like Shakira's Waka Waka, and there have been many cricket anthems, but none like Adnan Sami's Aah Yeah Oh. I still listen to it on important match days. It brings to mind the much remembered 2003 World Cup campaign of India, together with that tragic final, where Ricky Ponting ended the match within the first 40 overs itself. As someone who is still to recover from Ponting's assault in 2003 final, I would have preferred South Africa in the final facing India. I hope Rohit Sharma and Co. are not as diffident about the team's prospects as I become whenever team India plays Australia in important ICC matches! 

My earliest memories of Cricket must be from the time South Africa were welcomed into the cricket playing world again. I do not remember the scores, nor the context. I just recall wondering how lonely the batsmen must feel (as there were only two of them in a sea of fielders!) I remember the green jerseys and the blue jerseys. (i think this was after the World Cup). Or maybe it was some Sharjah based India Pakistan match - with the rousing chant of jeetega bhai jeetega echoing. I do recall seeing one of the initial matches of Sachin Tendulkar. Of course I knew Kapil Dev, and through him, Sachin (Boost is the secret of our energy!)

I recall that I watched the 1992 World Cup. Watched without any inkling of what was happening. Cricket happens to be a rather complicated game - while other games have rules, Cricket has laws! I remember that because that was the first time I heard the name "Zimbabwe", and to my juvenile mind, it sounded rather funny. Of course I recall watching the final, again absolutely innocent of any understanding. It was just a curious thing that England were playing Pakistan! I was just learning about the freedom struggle in very black and white terms, and well, the English were in my mind the absolute Evil. Pakistanis, on the other hand, were the arch-enemies (another thing I had learned very recently). So when two enemies fight, whom do you root for? Since I was yet to understand the game play anyway, I just watched on without rooting. When the Pakistanis won, I rather enjoyed their jubilations. I felt one of them looked like my younger mama ji! (I recently replayed the scene - God bless Youtube - it was, I kid you not, a young Inzamam ul Haq!) Maybe that's why I was satisfied with the result - at least they looked like us!

I joined my boarding school, Oak Grove, in 1994. It was somewhere around that that Kapil Dev had broken Sir Richard Hadlee's record of highest wickets. It was to be a short lived record. However, I recall my folks hearing it on the radio (yeah, the power cut used to be days long back then in UP), and I just understood that Kapil Dev was officially the best cricketer in the world! Of course, I still did not know anything about how Cricket was played. Although we, in small railway colony of Chandauli Majhwar railway station, had started playing "bat-ball" by then.

My real education in cricket began in 1996, two years into the boarding school life. The Wills World Cup was on, and I was rather aloof of it. Anyway, it was a regimented boarding school life, and what and when we watched on the TV was regulated. I recall that on a Second Saturday (or some non Sunday holiday), there was much debate between getting afternoon playtime and watching India play West Indies. The playtime faction won by a thin margin, and I was glad, since I had just discovered that my transparent acrylic ruler worked as a prism, and could cast rainbows in the sunlight! I enjoyed casting rainbows on walls for three hours in preference to watching what was surely a top class match (which India did win). Then, we had "that" match. The Bangalore (it was not Bengaluru yet) quarter final. It did not happen live for me. I remember a substantial crowd gathered around the Mistress on Duty (a boarding school quirk), who had brought out her small transistor radio. I remember them celebrating two sixes hit by one Ajay Jadeja. Then playtime ended and we went back to study, sup and sleep. There was some late night ruckus about some win. 

The next day was a holiday. We were trooped into the TV room after breakfast. I expected it was to watch Chandrakanta or something. However, it was the highlights of the last evening's match. The crowd beside me went mad. I could begin to see why. I think no one from that era can not know about the famous Amir Sohail - Venkatesh Prasad duel. It was a high scoring match for that era, and India had come out on top. The crowd could not wait for the semifinals, and that enthusiasm rubbed on me too. Well, the semifinal did come. We watched it live. We did miss the first half of the Lankan innings (as our classes ran till 345, and tea time for the next 30 mins - no compromise on the boarding school routine). We came in when Mahanama retired hurt. The Jayasuriya - Kaluwithrana pair was already gone, they said, and the match was already ours. Still, their middle order persevered to post a competitive total. When India started, Sidhu was out early. However, The Sachin Tendulkar was still on. He was playing well. It all looked good, until Jayasuriya struck with the ball, and Kaluwithrana with the big gloves! A number of replays by the TV umpire could not help us escape the reality. Sachin was stumped out! Anyway, he had done his job, and we still had the heroes of Bangalore to count upon. We had the skipper Azharuddin. Who just returned a simple catch to the bowler! It was then that the shit really hit the fan. Wickets fell like nine pin. It felt like a team of schoolboys, not the national team representing 85 crore persons! Our teachers could not take it anymore and we were herded to the dorms. No one on the staff was listening to the radio too. So we slept praying for a miracle. Well, it did transpire that India did not actually lose the game - technically it was awarded to the Lankans, after the crowd hooliganism in the city of bhadra-lok. We were really pissed at the Lankans, and rooted heavily for the Australians in the Final at Lahore. Unfortunately, even the mighty Australia could not exact our revenge for us. I remember breaking and throwing away my pen (the cheaper one) in frustration.

However, the world cup really got me into following Cricket. I, and my friend Saqib, started a thing called Indoor cricket. It was simple. A rectangular chad of paper was carved out on three sides on the card board at the end of a notebook, connected to the main board at one short end of the rectangle. On this little rectangle, from the left hand bottom corner (viewer's left hand) to the middle of right hand side of the rectangle, we drew a bat. The portion above it was marked with (the visible part of) the wicket. In the right hand corner, the right triangle space below the bat was divided into two by a line bisecting the base of the triangle. The bigger trapezium was marked LB, the smaller triangle as RH. In front of this wicket cum bat cum pad, on the base paper, we drew a pitch, with the bowlers mark. We marked the fielders and wicketkeeper at the appropriate locations. Fielders had a small central circle and a larger concentric circle. Game play was simple. We rolled a miniscule paper ball between fingers and placed it on the bowlers mark, and flicked it with the middle finger the way a carrom striker is hit. The ball could hit the chad on the wicket (bowled), on the bat (shot), on the trapezium (LBW) or the triangle (retired hurt!) The shot could land directly in the fielder's bigger circle or roll and stop on the fielder's smaller circle - caught out. If it rolled into a fielder's larger circle it was deemed fielded, and runs were awarded on how far the fielder was. We had not figured out run outs and stumpings per se. Boundaries were as they would be in real life - roll over for a four, and hit out for a six. It was really a surprise how two of the top students of the class were thus wasting away the prep time, and some times even live classes thus!

Cricket carried on though. That Dussehra, we had the Titan Cup, comprising Australia, and South Africa, and a very innocuous looking India led by Sachin Tendulkar. India teetered on the brink in every match, but somehow won the final after defeating South Africa. Then came 1997. That was the year which was particularly traumatic to the cricket fan in me. We had recently been promoted to the Senior Boys School. Compared to the cozy aquarium we led as a life in Junior School, it was a shark tank in there, with us Class VI persons as the lowliest of minnows. In the common room, the Class XII or XI guys sat on the wooden backed bench facing the tiny Electronics Corporation TV. Two benches on each sides were occupied by the lesser mortals of X or IX, who also occupied the "stall seats" on the floor ahead. The others made do with standing behind these dignitaries. In some important matches, some cupboards aligned against the walls were also moved and put up behind the main bench to afford more viewing spaces. However, those were not for us Class VI-ers. How I wished for a small TV, the size of a transistor radio, where we could watch the match unimpeded! We were mostly running errands for the seniors, bringing their water, their snacks, their messages, their fielding service (if someone got enthused enough to go out and bat himself) and every other kind of valet stuff. Still, in between, we tried to perch on window sills, or climb up the steel reinforcement precariously - just to watch poor Indian team get thrashed by all and sundry - Zimbabwe included. Back then we had played very competitive cricket against them. Srinath was out, and even Prasad was out for some time, and we saw exotic names like Abey Kuruvilla, Debasis Mohanty, Rajesh Chauhan and some more! Wow. In these very days Lankans had made 900+ score against India in a Test match.

1998 was Sachin Tendulkar's Annus Mirabilis. I don't recall why he did not do much in 1997.  It began with the Bangladesh Independence Cup, where India chased a 300+ target in the third final, and made Hrishikesh Kanitkar a household name. Sachin played some good innings there. That was January. Then when we returned to school in February, Australia's tour of India began. That was when Shane Warne (RIP!) famously commented that Sachin Tendulkar was the stuff of his nightmares. Sachin getting better of the Aussies continued that summer to Sharjah, where in the Coca Cola Cup, he hit two back to back centuries. The 143 in the first match, now famous as the Desert Storm (the match was literally suspended for a period due to an actual desert storm) got India into the final by edging out NZ over Net Run Rate. In the next one, the 134, on his birthday, ensured India won the trophy. By August of the year I recall, he had equalled, and then bettered the World Record for ODI centuries, till then held by Desmond Haynes. Over his career he scored almost thrice that number. That record was broken just 3 days back, after a quarter of a century. Just let that sink in. A quarter of a century. Full 25 years. In those days, it was Sachin, and then no one. If Sachin played well, India almost won. As soon as he got out, things went south. There was that test match against Pakistan in Chennai in 1999 that is an evidence to this. 

1999 World Cup was a tepid affair for India. I recall it more for the "Brittania Khao, World Cup Jaao" campaign which saw us spend a lot to buy Brittania products (or scour the bushes for a discarded wrapper with the "runs" intact). No, we did not really expect to go to the World Cup. However, each 100 run entry was rewarded with a small pocket book, which detailed the history of one of the six world cups held prior to this one. It was how I learnt about the first four World Cups, their winners, their heroes and timelines. In those pre-internet days, this was a treasure of information. On the field though, it was a pathetic affair. Sachin lost his father and had to miss matches. India lost to Zimbabwe in the group stage in a match aptly called "The Disgrace at Grace Road" by the Sportstar Magazine. Henry Olonga, recall anyone? We did see Sachin battle up a century in the next match, and then Saurav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid making tandem centuries against the hapless Lankans in Taunton. Of course, how can one forget the victory over Pakistan, at the height of the Kargil War. However, a timid defeat to New Zealand ended the World Cup campaign. Australia won after thrashing Pakistan comprehensively. They had come to the finals by a whisker. First Herschel Gibbs famously dropped that catch in the Super Six. Then in the semifinals, Lance Klusener had almost single-handedly won the match for South Africa. However in the penultimate ball, a mixup ensured that Donald was run out, and the match was tied. The super six winners, Australia just squeezed into the final. It was just the start of their ascendency. The sad face of Hansie Cronje in the dressing room is a haunting memory.

There was much sadness still to come for Cronje. The very next year he was named in the match fixing scandal that shook the cricket world and ended many careers, his included. Other notables were skipper Azharuddin and Ajay Jadeja. Even the great Kapil Dev was not spared the allegations. However, that proved to be a case of creation from destruction. A younger team, led by Dada Saurav Ganguly started emerging. This was a much more confident lot. Virender Sehwag, Yuvraj Singh, Mohammad Kaif, Zahir Khan, Harbhajan Singh - just to name a few. They did not take things lying down. The bare chested Dada waving his T-Shirt from the Lord's balcony was an iconic moment of this era. It was this team that, after struggling a bit in the start, rang up 8 consecutive wins in the 2003 World Cup. Sachin Tendulkar was on a roll - that pulled six off Andrew Caddick, that sliced six over the third man off Shoaib Akhtar, the fastest bowler recorded ever - those are the happy memories. However on that crucial Sunday, when I incidentally was the Prefect-on-Duty (another boarding school quirk), after that murderous innings by Ponting, Sachin fell cheaply to Glenn Mc Grath. If it was not over before the innings even began, it was truly over now. A valiant fight by Sehwag was futile. The loss was comprehensive, the trauma permanent, which is why I am still wary of this Sunday's match. 

In times that followed, we had a series of India Pakistan bilaterals. The diplomatic relations then were surprisingly cordial. Teams and spectators were welcomed by the residents of the other country. In movies, we had the silly Main Hoon Na running hit, and Lakshya had to market itself on the "Main Aesa Kyon Hoon" angle instead, and failed at the box office! In this period only, we discovered MSD. Of course, there is a whole movie dedicated to him.

2007 World Cup was a disaster, both for India and for itself! The self styled Guru Greg (coach Greg Chappel) rubbed the Indian  superstars the wrong way, and they let their displeasure be known. A flawed format resulted in a situation where a single upset could write off a good team. It happened with India, and it happened with Pakistan. Both teams were out in the first stage itself. Before that India did make a 400+ score, but this was after the famous Australia South Africa 400 each match, and not that much of a novelty. It unceremoniously ended the captaincy of Rahul Dravid. Pakistan coach, Bob Woolmer lost his life itself! The tournament itself dragged on for months after, pointlessly, eventually ending in an Aussie victory. The West Indies never quite seemed to recover after hosting that one. 

This was to be another Phoenix like moment. The first T20 World Cup was played that very year. India, after an initial traditional disdain for anything new, took to the format like fish to water. Then we had the match against England, where Yuvraj Singh hit a clueless Stuart Broad for 6 6s in an over. It is said that Andrew Flintoff had riled him up before that. Then of course, it set out for an India Pakistan final. India remained in the driving seat for most of the match, when, near the end, a miraculous onslaught by Misbah ul Haq almost snatched the match away from India. Anyway, a final cheeky shot by him was caught and India won the inaugural T20 World Cup, the first Laurel for the new Captain, Mahendra Singh Dhoni. India now liked this new format so much that the richest cricket league in the World, the IPL was born the next year.

In the run up to 2011 I only recall the 200 not out made by Sachin Tendulkar against South Africa. It was the first double century in the ODI format. Maybe I was not stable in that period. School had ended in 2004, and Engineering too had ended in 2008. Two years of MBA, amidst the global recession, and then a job as a railway trainee officer with a lot of moving around almost everyday, did not make it very conducive to watch cricket. 2011 I was still the railway probationer. We followed some matches in Railway Staff College Vadodara. Some matches I followed at home. Maybe we had inveigled a training close to home. I recall watching the Pakistan and the Australia wins at home. The final, however, was played on a very significant day. It was played on the day I had my UPSC interview of my second CSE attempt. My interview board was headed by an ex UP cadre IAS officer, who had held the post of Chief Secretary, sans any powers associated with that post, and hence had resigned in disgust. I had really drawn the short stick that day! While he took my interview apart, venting his frustration at life, universe and everything, his co-panelists simply watched the Lankan innings on the TV on the wall behind me! Yeah. They just nodded at the answers, visibly irritated having to do interviews on such a crucial day! I came out with 127 / 300 (I had 180 in the previous, and 195 in the next attempt). Team India did much better. Back at the Railway Probationers' Rest House (PRH) at State Entry Road, New Delhi, I followed the daunting run chase. The final six lofted by the Dhoni is also another photographic memory for those living then.

Soon after, Sachin Tendulkar retired, and was awarded the Bharat Ratna. This is what I wrote on that momentous occasion - "Many may not concur with the propriety of the award, for many reasons - statistics ("so and so had a better average") , utilitarian ("people are still starving"), ideological ("so what - he just swung about this piece of wood!") or the plain urge to 'stand out of the crowd'. For us 90's kids, however - who grew up when there was no 'BRICS', no 'IT boom', no 'superpower dreams', no Chandrayaan or Mangalyaan - there was just one contemporary Indian 'product', that made us feel proud. India of today may not really appreciate what India of the 90's felt about this great man in a little body. Farewell, Master Blaster. Thanks for the memories; thanks for making the 90's liveable!" Somehow, after that day, I stopped following cricket. As in the mundane bilateral and trilateral series. Somehow, without Sachin, it did not feel right. Again, as pointed out, as a nation now we had much more to celebrate instead of mere cricketing achievement. Personally too, I had struck out a life for me where the fortunes of the national cricket team did not constitute any significant requirement for my self worth.

Still I made exceptions for the World Cups. 2015 we had the famous mauka mauka ad. It was, and still remains, hilarious. India had won consecutively, and the ads had adapted the same way, for each opposition. They had even made a longish version for an India v New Zealand Final! Unfortunately, Australia happened to India once more. The only highlight of that match was Dhoni leading a futile late charge. 

2019, the year of my first District charge, saw a similar story. A run till the semis. This time we actually got New Zealand, our missed rival for the previous finals. Again it was left to Dhoni to do the hard work in the end. It looked as if he would steer the team to a hard fought win when a freak direct hit ended his innings and India's chance. The Cup was won by England, their first final after 1992, and their first World Cup after inventing the game itself! That it was won by a farcical rule takes nothing from an absolute nail biter of a final.

So, like I said, I still follow the World Cups. This year I was late in that too, as in I missed the India Australia fixture! They had advertised the Pakistan game at Ahmedabad so much that I somehow thought that was to be the first game. I followed that one and was gratified by the mauka mauka being denied again! I was back to my non cricket watching life. Then all of a sudden, Afghanistan beat the technical World Champions, and the Netherlands took down the mighty Africans. In most World Cups I followed, the group stage was merely about eliminating the minnows, barring an upset. This time though, all teams had to fight for those 4 spots, and even good teams could be left behind to fight for the consolation prize of qualifying for the Champions Trophy. So it became a proper "Hunger Games" scenario. Moreover Disney Hotstar had put all the matches on its mobile app for free. That meant matches could be followed anywhere - late lunchtime, commute, or even that boring meeting! Other than India, I really enjoyed watching Afghanistan. Playing under an old flag, but earning the respect of the new one too (Taliban tweeted in favour of the team after they upended Pakistan), battling uncertainty, and poor expectations, they turned up with a rather impressive batting and bowling performance. The fielding would need drastic improvement though, and that is a very high end sports fitness domain that would take time to come to them. They defeated three former World Champions, and came within sniffing distance of the fourth, when Glen Maxwell happened to them (to be honest, they dropped a very easy catch off him - what did I say about the fielding). That was easily the best ODI batting innings in history. 

Coming back to team India, the team this time looks much better. Batting has depth, and the skipper has been able to afford to gift away his wicket needlessly in almost all matches, and there has always been someone present to take charge. He does set up a 10 RPO tempo to begin with, though. Then Virat Kohli is surely in one of his better phases, and has the limelight washing over him. Rest are the names I have heard (and faces seen) for the first time, but all are good enough to carry the team on a day or the other. Call it the IPL effect, but the league has made the selection competitive, instead of nepotism riddled the way it was in the 90s. Franchises scout for real talent, and the public watches them (unlike the more official domestic features like Ranji Trophy), and questions the management if any deserving player is left out. It has given India its bench strength, but also spurred Afghanistan, whose leading players have participated in the league. The bench strength is also helping the other end of the line up. For the first time in my living memory, India has a pace trio, who are fearsome, fast, and quite unplayable! Earlier we had Zahir Khan in the 2003 campaign, but he was largely alone in his class. The bowlers being good is actually a better option technically, as the bowler needs one good ball to do his work, while the batsman needs overs. Again, a batsman's mistake is usually the final one in the innings, while the bowler can get punished and return with a wicket taker in the next ball! That being said, there are some causes to worry. In the last two games, the bowlers have let the opposition make much more runs than they did initially in the tournament. Even Shami's 7 for was mostly tailenders and desperate shots for chasing an impossible target. We were lucky that the batsmen did deliver in all those matches. Maybe the pitches were too much loaded in favour of batsmen.

 Statistically, India would be the favourites going into the final - matching current team strengths. However, cricket is a game of uncertainties - remember Australia had a 6% chance of winning the Afghanistan match, when the seventh wicket went down! Plus, more than the team itself, we are going against the Australian legacy. This World Cup would still take a lot of efforts, and dollops of luck, winning. We can just wish our team the best, and remember, that in the end, it is just a game.

On Trains, Berths, Classes and Arses

 So I recently made my first trip on the 'new' Third AC Economy Coach of Indian Railways. My solo trips are times for such 'adventures.' Family trips are almost always AC First. It started from when we were just a couple, and not a family. We very much wanted to go on the Palace on Wheels for our honeymoon. Turned out the that the tickets are still priced for the First World tourists, with a figure that could be the down payment on a small flat. So the next best thing was a Coupe in AC First of Indian Railways! Since then, we could not decide when to put a stop to the practice, and 'downgrade'. I have travelled more on the class out of pocket, as compared to when, as an officer in the Railways, I was entitled to travel in the class by paying one third of the fare difference from AC 2. But, I digress. I was telling about the AC 3 Tier Economy, or, the M Class. 

I decided to dip below the 'traditional' AC 3 (the B Class) not because of the difference in fare (it is hardly significant). However, the upper class did not have the side lower seat, which I so covet in these solo journeys. This one had them vacant, and I grabbed the chance. Now, writing from aboard the same, surfing the Rohilkhand countryside view from the large LHB window, I can confess that this is much better than the AC 3 (B Class). Frankly, comparing side lower to side lower berths, this is better than AC 2 (A Class)! (As an aside, nothing rankles more than drawing the side upper seat on AC 2, after paying that fare!)

The reasons for my saying so are concrete. Anyway, side berths on any AC class have been the same. This one, however, has two hollow 'boards' on both sides. The board incorporates the steps for climbing the higher berths. However, inside the hollows, there are the AC ducts. They open into personalized vents on each berth. The side lower berth gets two vents! Thus, the biggest problem of side berths, the lack of circulation, is obviated. Then, there is always that fear ( and sometimes events) of one rolling out into the passage. Often, limbs hang out and get hit by moving passengers. Not here. The boards provide a good stop to the feet, preventing any passage fouling. The head side board is a good support with which to enjoy the window view. The boards sort of give the whole coach a modular feel. Though it houses a dozen more passengers than the B class, they are all compartmentalized, and not 'in your face'. If the designers at RDSO get a bit innovative and extend these boards a little bit more, the privacy factor would improve a lot more, and with the personalized AC vents, charging points and the soothing upholstery, this could very well be the AC 3 Tier Premium!

Of course, there is that one issue. The dozen more people are housed against the same old 4 cubicles of toilets. So, technically that chinaware would see to some 18% more pair of arses. That surely puts the 'Economy' part back in the play. While technically that may be true, in reality, in these days of interconnected coaches, every Class is vulnerable to the arse. When you gotta go, you gotta go! If not in this coach, the toilets of the next coach shimmer like mirage just across that vestibule passage! Gone are the old days when coaches were on the whole isolated, and the toilets were just a hole in the sheet! These days these zero discharge toilets preserve and display the human effusions from across classes and coaches quite democratically. So the extra dozen of this coach, in reality belong to the whole train, and sky is the limit!

So, here I sit, on a train getting delayed every minute, but not troubling me, because the view is good. I am elated that I pay a hundred rupees less than the B class for this berth, and I pity the bloke in AC 2 side upper berth, who had paid five hundred rupees more for that privilege. So that brings me to my point. Indian Railways should start charging differentially for seats, and should let the passengers choose. There are a lot of Quora answers on how Railway berths are alloted so that weight is distributed well. I don't think that is true. An LHB coach weighs 40 tons. Suppose all 80 of passengers weight a 100 kilos each, and they all lean on one wall of the coach! It is an extra 8 ton on one side of the coach. Will it topple? Let's take more numbers. The LHB coach is 3.2 m wide. The broad gauge track is 1.676 m wide. Net over hang on both sides is 1.524 m, and on one side is 0.762 (interestingly quite close to width of Z class narrow gauge track). This means that for a given wheel, 0.762 m of the coach width 'hangs' on its outside and the rest 2.438 m hangs inside. Looking at a set of the 4 wheels inline under a coach, dividing the weight of the coach as per the ratio hanging on either side, one can say that 9.5 ton of coach hangs outside and the rest 30.5 tons hang inside. Toppling, however, depends not on forces, but on their moments. Assuming the coach weight is evenly distributed, the force should be seen as acting at half the distance of the overhang. Considering that the weight of the outside walls acts totally on the edge (and cannot be assumed to be distributed along the width of the coach), we may, approximately, put the action point at 3/4 length of the overhang. So, this way 5.43 Ton-metre (not an SI unit) of moment tries to topple the coach outside, while 55.77 Ton-metre of moment tries to set it down on the other wheel. Assuming our 8 Ton body of passengers is leaning on the edge of the coach, it still adds 6 more Ton-metre to the toppling moment. Yeah, the coach is not going to topple if people start getting their choice of berths.

So, what's the issue? Lethargy and inertia, maybe. However, even a frequent AC First traveller would know the struggle to get that Coupe allotted, or else feeling like a short changed AC 2 passenger in a 4 Berth Cabin (if you have to stare at strangers while getting stared back, the whole point of AC First is lost!) Allotting that Coupe or Cabin is the absolute discretion of the charting officer. We, in the know, beseech the almighty charting officer to bless us thus. Others simply take a chance. However, I would prefer paying a slight premium for a confirmed Coupe, even above the high fare, instead of waiting to see what the Lord Charting Officer has ordained three hours prior to my departure. If given a choice, I would pay more for an M Class side lower, than i would for an A Class side upper berth. Maybe, just maybe, then those entitled arses, who develop arthritis just on spotting a single male with a lower berth, wont come claiming those as if it were their birthright!

TLDR, AC 3 Economy Class is very good, at least from a side lower perspective. Indian Railways should start pricing seats differentially on choice. Maybe that would deter the entitled beings who develop arthritis simply on spotting a single male in possesion of a lower berth!.

An Epic Travesty (Movie Review - Adipurush)

When we were in the second year of our Engineering course, we were treated to the spectacle called "Troy", starring Brad Pitt as Achilles, and Eric Bana as Hector. While the movie was enjoyable, we were left with a wistful wish - why can't some Indian movie maker pour in a huge budget, and do such a treatment of our own epics. 

Well, we must be careful what we wish for, for it may come true, and how!

The movie opens with a shot of dementors on the lake, like in Prisoner of Azkaban. Guided telepathically by Night King from Game of Thrones! The protagonist, who is described in the scriptures as an Archer, eschews the bow, and tackles the dementors in wrestling bouts. No doubt Twitter is incandescent with rage!

For a three hour run time, (that denied us a meal post the show, despite our choosing a 730 pm show), a large part of the epic story is omitted. Movie starts at the Shoorpanakha incident and stops at the rather bizarre end of Lankesh (For some reason, the movie makers have decided not to use the proper name of the characters, but the next common eponyms - why? Plausible Deniability? There is no chance of that working.) In between those elongated 3 hours, we have gems like Dhakad-aasur (धाकड़ासुर)! (Shudders), मैं तुम्हे धो दूंगा (in Bombaiya Tapori language), and Ravana (sorry, Lankesh) giving up the fabled Pushpak (which makes a cameo at the end of the movie, don't worry), for , what can be best described as an overgrown bat-dragon hybrid. Then there is overuse of very pedestrian level CGI. Even the ground our characters stand on looks synthetic. The fabled Golden Lanka seems made of coal, especially the way the towers catch fire. Worse is the treatment of Vanara sena. No homogeneity is observed in what is supposed to be a common clan - there are langoor type foot soldiers, while the major Vanaras look like a low price copy of the Planet of the Apes. Bajrang (their version of Hanuman ji) does not even look like a Vanara, but like a ham faced actor with air blown in the mouth to puff the cheeks - only the "wrapped towel prop as a baby" in Shamshera would be a worse cop out in recent cinematic history. Overall, the Vanaras are portrayed quite pathetically. For lifelike animal characters with human voices, they need not have looked farther than the recent version of Lion King. For much better CGI and VFX, they need not have looked beyond Prabhas' own Bahubali, made around a decade back! Sadly, the makers seemed too enamored with themselves and their imagination.

All is not bad. The lead pair does a sincere portrayal of the divine couple. The 'romance' part is handled tastefully, and the romance song would be watched on YouTube a lot. Some of the VFX was good - the artillery bombardment by Lankan forces, and the serrated yo-yo like defense weapon were showed well. And, for a change, Ravana's (sorry, Lankesh's) fabled sword actually looks like Chandra-haas (crescent moon). In 3D, in an otherwise strangely bestial-porn like scene of Ravana (sorry, Lankesh) getting a massage from huge snakes, there is a moment where a snake seems to break the fourth wall - that had a good jump scare factor.

The story has been violated quite liberally, and the anger of the devout is quite justified. However, for yours truly, it is an even bigger disaster cinematically. The wait for the Indian answer to Troy continues. Maybe Ranbeer Alia duo will deliver. We can only hope.